Family Updates!

Davis Family 2012 Year in Review

• Paula celebrated her second 29th birthday. :)
• Malachi graduated preschool.
• Celebrated our 10 year anniversary!!!
• Summer vacation in Yankton, SD with extended Davis Family
• Weekend getaway to Harlan reservoir with Paula's family, which included a serious ATV accident (read more about it in older posts titled "Here I Am Lord" Part I and II)
• Moved, yet again, but still in Lincoln

Favorites & Hobbies: 

Malachi - Turned 5 in January. Started Kindergarten at Sheridan Elementary and likes math, library, and recess.  Also loves Legos, wrestling, and baseball.

Elijah - Turned 2 in August.  Repeats EVERYTHING anyone says.  Loves cars, Thomas the Train, dinosaurs, playing football and being outside.

Isaac - Turned 1 in October.  Loves to smile, make messes, go 'swimming' in the bathtub (and toilet if no one is watching), throwing things down the stairs, and most of all, loves "Little Grandma".

Merry CHRISTmas and Happy 2013!

Amos & Paula

Leaps & Bounds

Paula had a follow up appointment with the surgeon today.  He was very pleased with the progress and said that she is making progress in 'leaps and bounds'!!!  Praise God.  He also said that at this point he does not think he will have to go back in and do any more surgeries.  He is 'very confident' that movement and function will continue to improve.  She will keep going to therapy two times a week for the next six weeks and then have another checkup.  Overall he is quite pleased with the progress.

May the Lord make your love for each other and for everyone else grow by leaps and bounds. That’s how our love for you has grown. And when our Lord comes with all of his people, I pray that he will make your hearts pure and innocent in the sight of God the Father. -- 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

Here I am Lord (Part II)

(If you are new to this blog you may wish to read Part I of this story, just scroll down to locate it)

Speaking of boxes, remember the one filled with hatred towards him? I came across another box recently…oh, how God cleans out one’s heart that has relented to Him. But this box is different, I’m not even certain when it was created, in fact I didn't even know it existed within me. Perhaps it was delivered to me by the evil one, probably when I wasn't keeping proper watch over my heart? I’m so sorry LORD that I did this to You for so long.

I had unknowingly placed my Rescuer in a box, limiting what He could do.  Not limited entirely, for my Father is boundless. He is the beginning and the end, my Savior, no one can box Him in. Although one can box up what is expected of Him. In my prayers I tell Him what I need, as if the One who created me wouldn't know my deepest desires. I beg Him to just move in my life and I am surprised, if not taken back, by tragic events? Was Jesus’ death on a cross not tragic? Just as I have been wondering what in the world my Lord is up to, don’t you think the disciples wondered the same as they stared at Jesus suspended from the cross? Why such brokenness, why so much bloodshed? His redemptive plan had to be as such for His people had hardened their hearts toward Him, just as I had. I foolishly believed the devil’s lies, that I could hate him and still love my God. That I could choose to not forgive him even after my Savior willingly laid down His life so I could live forgiven. Oh, the deception!

This him I spoke about forgiving was really just a boy when my heart broke from what I thought were unforgivable acts. Even though I forgave him only a few days following my accident the painful event was still burned into my memory from 14 years before. What does a person do with memories that pop back into front and center even when you don’t want them to? I think one of the worst tortures of life is having to relive painful events over and over, powerless to make them stop invading new moments. A certain name is mentioned or a familiar smell and it can all come rushing back. What then? Where is the power and freedom of forgiveness in that?

Well, for me, there wasn’t proper freedom and I would suppose it would be much the same for others. But all hope is not lost, not with Christ in the picture. My God is so good, He didn’t lead me to forgive to be left torn open, no, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Christ desires to be in on every moment, every memory, after all it is purely about Him. In His love and mercy, He gently led me to a safe place with Him. Ideally I would have let Him do this years ago and saved myself so much heartache but my hesitancy was overcome by a wonderful mentor that helped lead me back to my Father. She calls it going to your safe place with Jesus. The best way to describe it is when I relax my mind, pray to Jesus and ask Him to meet with me, I always find myself with Him in a field. I close my eyes and slowly the picture comes into focus in my mind, but it took practice, which is what I had been doing this past summer before my accident. While reading this some of you may be saying, wow that is a great imagination you have there…visualizing yourself somewhere else, sounds a bit like a relaxation exercise. And, honestly it felt a bit like that at first. To some, this may be really difficult to grasp, but I believe we are all created in His image, so my creative mind is also a reflection of His creativity. Remember that box I’ve been trying to remove from around my God? I am choosing not to limit Him and His work in me.

So this field I go to with my Savior feels safe. The sun shines warm and a breeze moves the grass. In the distance I see mountains, and there is no worry that anyone else will arrive, its just Jesus and me. A few weeks ago, my mentor suggested it was time to let Jesus into those painful memories with him. I knew I was going to be with Him with the intent of inviting Him into my painful place, but I was scared. I had been avoiding this moment for years. The days previous I had begged Him not to let me see it all again, for fear it would tear my heart apart.

We prayed and then I closed my eyes and was with Jesus. My mentor asked me what it looked like and I described the familiar place, only this time a storm was rolling in. Dark, luminous clouds were quickly approaching and the warmth from the sun was absent. This had never happened to me before and it felt strange. Fear crept in and my voice was shaking. Oddly enough, Jesus did not feel absent, I had not been abandoned. My mentor continued prayers of protection and then she asked me what I looked like in the field. I looked down at myself and I told her I was covered in blood. More prayers ensued and then she claimed in Jesus’ name over me for release from a spirit of defilement. And then it began to rain, warm droplets of water from Heaven. I looked down to see all the blood wash away, my bare feet covered in streams of raindrops. All the words and prayers spoken during that time I don’t recall, I just remember being washed clean with Jesus. My mentor asked me to ask Jesus about the painful memories. This was hard to release even though I was safe, I feared what I would remember, but God is good. No new memories came, just the painfully familiar room, the place I couldn’t get away from because he was stronger than me. My mentor asked where Jesus was during the memory and I could see Him nearby. She had me ask Jesus questions and I just remember Him telling me He only let it go on for so long, there was a limit to the damage that could be done. And then I asked Jesus if I could go home and beyond Him the room opened to our field. Christ took my hand and led me out. We were home in our field and I had on a perfectly white dress. Christ’s bride has been redeemed. Set free. And I was happy so Jesus and I played in our field. Afterward, my mentor anointed me with oil, the only one on hand was Spikenard oil. I asked her about the oil specifically and she read me a verse:

Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odor of the ointment.

I loved how the verse spoke of Jesus’ feet since I had seen my own feet washed clean when I was with Jesus. I asked her the scripture reference. She replied that it was from John 12:3. Ah, yes, why wouldn’t God be complete in His restoration of his daughter? The scripture for me was from the book of John and his name was John. Of course, God wants me to see His fingerprints all over my life. Now when someone references from the book of John I no longer feel pain in my heart but a reminder of Christ’s endless love for me. How cool is that? Oh, how my Redeemer makes me smile….

Seeing glimpses of His heart for me,

Paula

Skin is HEALED!!

We are almost 3 month from the date of the accident and after two surgeries, Paula's skin is healed up and no more scabs!!!  The scars are fairly large and the scar tissue is still causing a few issues but God is great!  Physical Therapy is going well (still at three times a week and as much as possible at home).  She can straighten her arm down to 8 degrees.  Also her fingers, wrist, thumb and hand is starting to get some movement back, praise God.  Time and work, time and work.  Paula will have another checkup with the surgeon at the end of the month, just to see progress and if anything else needs to change, but she will continue with PT probably three time a week until January at least.  Thank you so much for prayer and support.

15 Degrees

Paula still isn't able to move her fingers, wrist, and thumb a whole lot more than before, but just because she can move it at all the therapist is still very optimistic that she will get it all back.  As far as the elbow, the skin in not quite healed but getting really close!  At therapy, at the end she could straighten her elbow to 15 degrees (with 0 being totally extended).  After surgery in Kearney at the very beginning, the dr thought she may only ever get it back to 30 degrees!!  Praise Jesus.  Most of the therapy is them moving the arm, but her range of motion and muscle should continue to get better.  She is still doing therapy 3 times a week, and as much as possible at home.  She also got special silicone that she has to put on her arm and wrap at nights.  As far as a timeline and a plan, Paula will go back to the surgeon next Thursday for a monthly checkup, will probably continue the therapy 3 times a week for a few more months.  The therapist thinks over the next 4-5 months she should start to get function and movement back, and get back to somewhat 'normal'.  Things are getting better and we cannot express how thankful we are for all the support and prayers from everyone.

Progress

We got the stitches out last Thursday.  Dr. Gove said that the skin looked 'pretty good'.  Paula started physical therapy last Friday and will go three time a week for a month or two.  Right now there are still big scabs on the inside of the elbow, with scars on both sides of her elbow across, and now with the last surgery another incision scar about 8 inches on the inside of her arm.  With help, her elbow can extend to 40 degrees, she can move her fingers and thumb an inch or so, and her wrist about the same.  Her skin is trying to attach itself to the muscle so Paula has to push and rub her arm and right on the incision.  She has had to continue on the higher pain medicine due to physical therapy and the home therapy.  Thank you so much for all the support, prayers and help.  We have no idea what we would do without it!!!

Here I am Lord (Part 1)

It has been over a month since the accident. I could give a lengthy list of all I cannot do because of the injury…I haven’t driven a car or made a legible grocery list. I cannot change diapers or even pick up my children. Did I mention that Isaac is at my most favorite age of discovery mixed with baby, yet I haven’t seen him for over a week and a half? Oh, but it gets better, there is no time line this side of Heaven of when I will get better and both my surgeons frown a little when they mention the condition of my elbow. When will I be able to finally have my arm unwrapped, take a shower without a trash bag tied around it? When will I get to make adult decisions without trying to think through the mental fog this strong pain medication puts me in? What if I get addicted to the sleeping pills? What if I can never straighten my arm? What if it always hurts like it does right now even with the pain medicine? What if…what if nothing is ever the same? What if I will always be broken?

You know it is funny how God moves. I had been praying for Him to make me follow Him. I don’t want anything more than to be close to Him, but all too often my prayers were ones of apologies for not spending any time with Him. I basically ignored the love of my life, day in and day out. And then He recenters me in mere moments. I have never been in an accident before. I have known physical pain but most was expected (i.e. child birth).  I had never before experienced a mishap where one second you’re having fun and the next you see a part of your body broken. 

I remember the sensation of my arm being injured but it didn’t register as pain initially. I recall seeing the ground near my face as the ATV rolled and then calling out to Amos that my arm was broken. I remember expecting to look down and see my right arm bent a funny way, as broken bones often look. And then as I lowered my eyes to it I saw the inside of my arm, layers of tissue flapping open and I was suddenly very sad. Blood and wounds do not alarm me; I remember how excited I was to sit in an ER when my brother had accidently cut his foot wide open. I watched as the doctor cleaned and stitched him together. My mother was a surgical nurse at the time and I grew up feeling that hospitals were safe places full of people willing to mend broken bodies. But I knew my body was torn open and I was in the middle of a field, far from help and a hospital. I was hanging by my seat belt as Amos turned the ATV from its side. I remember seeing the fear in his eyes as he looked at my arm and me telling him to start driving. I have since tried to imagine how it would have felt for him. He has told me that my blood was shooting out with little extra bursts following the rhythm of my heart’s beat. I did not know this as I never again looked down at the wound. And it is now in hindsight that I see how God was orchestrating my rescue. As the floor board of the ATV began filling with blood, lapping over the sides of my flip flops, God told me to tell Amos to put a tourniquet on my arm. Amos has told me since the accident that his first thought was, a tourniquet, we don’t have a tourniquet! But I had already called out to God and He was there, so even though I didn’t know Amos’ thoughts, I told Amos to take his shirt off and wrap it around my arm above the elbow. And he did just that, wrapped it around loosely. It was at that point that I realized I was dying. I didn’t need to look down to know I was losing blood; I could feel it leaving me with every beat of my heart. It felt as if I couldn’t catch my breath, my surroundings began fading away, but Jesus was there. The very Man that chose to let His blood run out for me, was there to rescue me. Through my weakness I yelled for Amos to stop driving and tie the tourniquet. At this point Amos was yelling about not knowing what to do and God calmly had me tell him to tie it, Amos hesitated and I insisted, saying tie it, tighter, tighter! I could hear the fabric ripping and instantly life returned to me. I remember saying aloud that I felt better. Amos began driving again all the while mumbling frantic prayers, asking Him to lead us out of the field; a 9 mile long ATV course that neither of us was familiar with. I heard him in the back of my mind but I was saying my own prayers begging God to let me live to see my three little boys grow up. Then I heard Him speak tenderly to me, to use my left arm to lift up my right arm. I raised it above my head and draped it on the top of my helmet. I felt so broken and I told Jesus I would forgive, just please LORD show me how to forgive him; a man that had hurt me 14 years ago. I had taken the pain and fit it into a box, slammed the lid shut and pushed it back into the recesses of my mind. For several years now I have given my all to Christ, telling Him to take control of my marriage, releasing each of my children to His plan for them, asking God to lead me in His will for my life, given Him everything except for that pesky box full of hatred and bitterness. That one place I didn’t think I could ever, ever revisit. I can’t even fathom how many times He has reminded me of my need to let go and forgive and I would shake my head no to the very suggestion. But in those moments following the accident, wondering if I would live, my body reeled at the thought of standing before My Father’s throne of grace with a heart full of unforgiveness.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.                                                                                     Matthew 7:2

I imagine now that as I relented control to God in those moments of desperation, seeking His path of forgiveness, there was a shift in the spiritual realm. That box of hatred in my heart was fuel for the enemy to tramp on beauty in my life. As I am typing these truths my oldest son cries out from his room that he is scared and so I pray with him for protection from the enemy. Ah, spiritual warfare, if Eve could have only seen the effects her single act of disobedience would have on our world. And perhaps it is there that lies an answer, my choice to not forgive him…would it have seeped into every generation following me? Would that large root of bitterness reach out and tightly wrapped itself around my children’s hearts? Whatever the consequences may have been, I can tell you now that after only a few days following the accident, I forgave him. I forgave him. Freedom from sin is a beautiful thing and I am free.

Inching closer to God's heart,

Paula

P.S. If anyone ever reads this I will be surprised, but with an obedient heart I report of God's faithfulness to me! I love you, Jesus.